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January - Hello 2021!

 Not gonna lie, I always find emerging from my Christmas cocoon to be a challenge. But this year ....... dear God!😩

     It had been a very strange time for the family. After months of having this thing hanging over us like an executioner's guillotine, we actually had it! Having endured John's almost constant hysteria - his persistent worrying, obsessive disinfecting and pathological fear of the world and its residents - we had succumbed to the virus anyway. And most importantly of all, we had survived and come out the other side. Don't get me wrong, coronavirus isn't to be recommended. It wasn't pleasant. But like all those things in life that you manage to survive, there's always a plus side to be found. Apart from John FINALLY having to stop worrying about catching the bloody thing and accepting that the virus particles had actually outwitted him, I managed to lose a great deal of the weight that I'd piled on during the lockdown of 2020. This meant that when my appetite finally returned (several days before Christmas Eve) I had room for all of those lovely festive goodies that I managed to get my hands on during a frenzied, late-night trip to Tesco.

     The twins seemed to enjoy knocking about the house throughout the holiday but Cleo was less impressed. There were no trips to Winter Wonderland or parties to go to. No reasons to put on a glitzy top or boys to snog under the mistletoe. My heart went out to her and all of her friends as they went back to sharing gossip and make-up tips via face-time. John and I made it our mission to watch as many box sets and glug as much Baileys as was humanly possible, as we sluggishly transitioned into a much-anticipated 2021.

     No sooner had I taken the cardboard boxes, ready to receive the fairy lights and baubles, out of the loft and forced the last of the Quality Street (the bloody pointless gold penny things always hang around in our house, outstaying their welcome) down my throat than ...... well, you know what comes next!😬

     'I got rid of the last of the mince pies for you!' John announced, as proudly as if he'd single-handedly landscaped the garden.

     'Have you checked the Queen's New Year's Honours list?' I asked him, patting his stomach. 'You're sure to get an MBE at the very least, for performing a service like that.'

     'Funny!' he said and went back to scrolling through his phone. 

     'Well, can't you do something useful and give me a hand to take the tree down? I want some sense of order around this place before the kids are back in school and we're out at work again.'

     John immediately stopped scrolling and looked up at me, screwing up his face. A sense of deja vu descended upon me.  'Hmm. Just checked my newsfeed. Change of plan, Dais!'

     

WhatsApp Group:

Vyshali: I really don't think I can take it girls!!😱 Not again!!!😭😭

Sarah: Oh babe! I'm sure it won't be for long this time xx

Karen: You kidding!! The infection rate's through the roof! I'm telling you! We won't be back in school until Easter at this rate 🐣

Vyshali: Easter!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭

Me: Come on Karen! It won't be that bad surely. The vaccine's here Vyshali. You can do it for a few weeks. Your kids don't get up till 3 and you're usually in bed by 10. Just drink lots of wine!!!X

Vyshali: I suppose xx


So much for the weight I lost courtesy of covid.  Doing up the top button of my skinny jeans is clearly going to be a short-lived experience. We are housebound again. In a full-bastard-lockdown, homeschooling and all. This time a winter one, with no sunshine! The twins are never gonna agree to trampolining and and swingball in what feels like sub-zero temperatures dammit. We are right back exactly where we started!😩

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At times like these, I REALLY wish I hadn't seen so many Horror/ Dystopian/ Zombie Apocalypse box sets on Netflix.       As recent news images started to flash onto our screens like the opening titles of 'Dawn of the Dead', my brain automatically fast-forwarded to those inevitable scenes just before the closing credits start to roll. I've read enough books and seen enough drama of this genre to know how it will end; with me probably having to engage in an unspeakable sex act with some gormless trolleyboy behind the 'Click and Collect', in exchange for a packet of Cream Crackers!      My hubby, who was full of big talk about 'self sufficiency' and home grown tomatoes a couple of weeks ago, is already rapidly losing the plot, so make no mistake about it -  when the shit hits the fan, it'll be down to me to do whatever I have to do for the family. Even if the selfish bastards don't particularly deserve it! With a bit of luck, we have a long way