Day 52 - I Can Explain

It's Thursday. The sun's been shining. Things I've achieved today:

•  Dressed, showered and combed my hair - not necessarily in that order
•  Kept the kids and cat fed, watered and alive
•  Repeatedly expressed my true feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment, disbelief, sheer mortification and horror to John
•  Listened to John repeat the story of how the events of last Wednesday night unfolded, several times (it never got easier to hear)
•  Shouted
•  Cried
•  Ate biscuits like they were going out of fashion
•  Clapped the carers from inside my open front door
•  Drank wine
•  Cried some more

The kids went to bed late. I was slumped on the sofa, exhausted from the high drama and emotion of the day, by the time John edged his way into the lounge and asked sheepishly, "Cup of tea?"

     "Predictable."

     "Well, what do you want me to do, Daisy? I've apologised. I've explained myself over and over again till I'm blue in the face.  As far as I was concerned, there was a random guy, creeping up my mother's back passage in the dark. I already had it in my head about the weirdo that was lurking about the area, so ..…. 

     "You attacked him!"

     "Well, I shouted out at first but he looked like he was gonna run, so I rugby tackled him."

     "Oh my God, John!" I drained my wine glass.

     "He was acting very suspiciously, Daisy."

     "He was delivering toilet paper.  The poor man had already delivered her shopping but he must have realised that he'd forgotten the toilet rolls and was going back, out of the kindness of his heart. Anyway John, can't you understand that the worst part about all this is the fact that you didn't tell me, even though I asked you about the toilet paper and the French Fancies when you got in?  I gave you the perfect opportunity. Not to mention all the times that I told you that I felt like Gordon and Margaret were acting weird. You said nothing, John! THEN you go and lecture me about keeping things from you. Cleo too. THAT'S what pisses me off more than anything! I've said it all a hundred times now. We're just going round in circles."
     "You can say that again!"
     "All this time that you were gawping out of the window at Gordon, making judgements, he was out helping people in the community. God, I feel awful!"
     "Like I told you Daisy, I've apologised and he's accepted my apology.  It's just gonna take a bit of time for this to blow over, that's all."
     "I am mortified! I'm not going outside from now on."
     "You've said. Look …. can we just …. put this to bed once and for all, Daisy? There's nothing more that I can say."
     "Sorry John, but I'm struggling to even look at you right now. I'm gonna need some time to get over this one. And talking of bed, perhaps you should sleep down here again tonight." Just so that he knew that it wasn't a mere suggestion, I got up from the sofa, left the room and headed upstairs to MY bedroom.