Day 44 - Avoidance

I did everything within my power to ignore the fact that Antonio had been texting me since Monday, telling myself that it was way more important for me to focus my attention on supporting Sarah right now.
     "So …. so ….. I had a sneaky look at his phone and ……" she sobbed. ".... and …." She was in a bad way, bless her. She was all blotchy and looked like she hadn't run a comb through her hair for a week.
     "Do you want me to pick up the story?" asked Karen from her square of screen.
     "Yes please," said Sarah, lighting a cigarette and sucking on it like it was mother's milk.
     "Sarah!" Vyshali said. "Don't let him drive you back to smoking again. It took you so long to give up."
     "I know. Just to get me through the worst of it.  I just ….. " ,  puff, "I suppose I just need something to take the edge off. Tell them about his …. " puff, "...… phone, Karen." Puff.
     "The slimy bastard's been sexting!" Karen informed us, disgust audible in every syllable.
     "What a bastard!" said Vyshali.
     "Knobhead!" I said.
     "He's clearly been seeing someone else for months and Sarah thinks that he even broke lockdown last week to see her."
     "What a creep!" exclaimed Vyshali.
     "Always hated him," added Karen.
     "I thought it was suspicious when he offered to go out to Sainsburys. He never does anything, the lazy piece of shit! From his messages ….." Nose blow, puff, "...… it looks like they met up in the pull-in near the Costa Drive-Thru ….." puff, '' ….. then …. then he came back and made out that the reason that he hadn't brought the chicken drumsticks and the coleslaw that I asked him to get ……" puff, "...… was because he couldn't remember my PIN."
     "Bet that was a lie!" said Vyshali.
     "Probably," Sarah agreed. "I never did get my coleslaw and chicken."
     "You gave him your PIN? I'd change that straight away!" I said.
     "Now I'm stuck with him. His parents are really vulnerable," said Sarah.
     "Tough," said Karen. "Let them deal with their scummy son."
     "I can't, Karen." Puff. "They're lovely people.  I wouldn't want to put them at risk," she said, stubbing out her fag on what looked very much like the framed photo of her and Charlie at Nando's that I know she kept by the bed.
     "You're too nice," said Karen. "Have you locked all your stuff away, like I told you? Don't you dare feed him while all this is going on."
     "Don't think he's got any money either."
     "Good!" we all chorused.
     "Let the fucker starve!" added Karen, for good measure.
     We consoled and advised Sarah until my kids began to drop subtle hints that they needed lunch - loudly opening and closing the kitchen cupboards and drawers then slipping to the floor melodramatically, like they were fainting with hunger. Naturally, John was nowhere to be seen.

Another text from Antonio came in during the afternoon, which I ignored and I made a conscious decision not to log into my emails, deciding that I would face it tomorrow.  For the rest of today, I would watch Netflix with the kids and open a bottle of wine when it felt like it was a respectable time to do so. All the while, I would continue to communicate with Sarah by means of supportive messages and emojis. This was the day's plan. It was always good to have a plan.  I just needed a bit more time in the land of Denial, then tomorrow, it would all become clear and I'd know what to do.
     8pm seemed like a very respectable time to me. I was grudgingly pouring a (small) glass for John when he announced that he'd have to pop over his mother's. "I don't know what she's playing at.  She's running low on toilet paper again."
     "She told me that she was ok for everything when I offered. The church people had been."
     "They must've not brought her bog roll. She needs to get a grip. I've told her to keep on top of her grocery orders. God knows what she does with her toilet paper! She had four rolls delivered a couple of weeks back, didn't she? I'll just finish watching 'Neighbours from Hell' then take her one of our rolls to tide her over. Can we spare it?"
     "Yeah. Take her two. The UK toilet paper crisis is over now."
     "Thank God, Daisy! I couldn't face the stress again."
     "Mmm. Tell you what ...... why don't you take her a box of French Fancies too?" I'm no fool. When John finds out that I've lost my job and starts badmouthing me around town, I'm gonna need my allies! 

It was dark by the time John came back. I didn't notice he'd arrived at first. I popped into the kitchen to top up my wine glass and found the two toilet rolls and a mangled box of French Fancies on the table.  John was on his way into the bathroom.
     "You're back then."
     "Yep. I'm just …. just getting a shower."
     "Your mother didn't need the toilet rolls then?"
     "No.  She was Ok after all."
     "What happened to my French Fancies?"
     "Bloody hell, Daisy. What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?  Can't a bloke get a shower around here?"
     Hmmm.
     "Glass of wine?"
     "No. If you don't mind, I think I'll go straight to bed after my shower."
     Something else to put on the back burner.  It would keep. I wasn't exactly in a position to push my luck with John. Also, on the plus side, I wouldn't have to share my wine and my French Fancies were back!😋