Schools went back this week. Excuse me if I wasn't exactly doing cartwheels, as it had become very clear that the reality wasn't going to quite match up to the fantasy that had been playing in my head over the last few weeks of lockdown. Realistically, schools could only take small groups at a time. This meant:
Over the course of the last three months I had forgotten just how horrendous mornings in our house could be. Four of us needed to get out of the house at roughly the same time, fed and looking reasonably presentable. We had to be even more organised than ever now, ensuring that we were all in possession of a mask, a hand sanitiser and a packet of Wet Wipes. The insane levels of fussing and yelling on Monday morning, woke Princess Cleo, which meant that there was an argument before any of us even left the house. We were sent on our way with, "Inconsiderate arseholes!" ringing in our ears. The grumpy one had been instructed to pick the twins up from the school gates at 12.30 so that I was able to put a decent amount of hours in at the office. The adverts for our new products were going live on Wednesday and there was still much to be done. Big week for us all!
It whizzed by like some tornado of panic, din and general bedlam. There were fights, tears, misplaced shoes and surgical masks in the mix. And don't even get me started on what was going on amongst the kids!
Friday night found me in a crumpled mess, guzzling crisps and wine on the sofa like they were going out of fashion.
WhatsApp Group:
Me: Still up girls????
Vyshali:👍
Karen: It's only 9 o'clock babe x
Me: Really?? Thought it was about 11! SO HAPPY it's Friday!!!! I feel wrung out girls! X
Karen: Aw. So how did all the kids get on at school this week?
Me: The twins said that the teachers were all being weird x
Vyshali: My kids said the same😂😂
Karen: Fair play. Can't argue with that. I know I was!
Me: Mr Braithwaite was wearing rubber gloves apparently.
Sarah: Kinky!!!
Vyshali:😂
Me: Have you seen Mr Braithwaite?? Shame he didn't wear a gimp mask to match!
Vyshali: Omg!😂😂😂
Me: And within an hour of going back in Cleo suddenly wants to change her A level options. She thinks she might be an optician of all bloody things!!! How did did school go for you Kaz? X
Karen: Weirdest week of my life. Just 8 kids at a time in the room. One way systems. Toilet attendants. Wipe down whiteboards and markers instead of paper and pens. Pupils who were falling asleep cos they hadn't seen the right side of midday for months. And damn near frost bite cos every door and window had to be kept open!!
Sarah: Don't exaggerate Karen. It's July!
Vyshali:😂
Sarah: Trust me. My classroom's like a wind tunnel. The kids' lips were blue by 10 am. I've got a stiff neck tonight. I'm even contemplating asking Dave to give it a rub!!
Me: Fuck! Must be bad!
Vyshali:😱
Sarah: Saw your adverts on Instagram Daisy. So funny! x
Me: I'm happy with them. Mainly because I know that Olivia secretly hates them!! Not sophisticated and high-end enough for her.
Karen: Had YOU stamped right across them!!😂
Sarah: The company bit o rough!!X😜
Me: Oi !!!
Karen: Well done! Love them! Good job! X
Karen: Think I'm gonna have to get a rub down from Dave now. Wish me luck!!X
Vyshali:😱
Me: Hope he doesn't get any ideas x😂
Karen:🤮🤮
Seems like John had big ideas for Saturday. He casually shared them with me as I was clearing away the breakfast dishes. They involved getting the bikes out and ME making a picnic for the five of us.
"No bloody way!"
He looked slightly taken aback. "Why the attitude? I thought it'd be nice for us to get out as a family to celebrate the end of such a great week."
"Attitude? Great week?"
"Yeah. It's been alright, hasn't it? Being back out in the world. To think you were stressing about what we'd have to juggle this week."
I could barely see straight by this point. The mist was coming down fast. I struggled to find the words. "We? We'd have to juggle?"
"You don't have to repeat everything I say, you know Dais."
"Have you ANY idea what sort of a week I've had, John? Have you any idea of what it's been like trying to remember who's in school on what day? Get them there? Pick them up? Make sure that every set of clothes goes on a fucking boil wash every night? Feed everyone? And that's without WORK! Without getting the products ready to launch for Victoria. Without having to micro manage two halfwits in the office. And look around you, John." I became aware that I was waving my arms around flamboyantly. "Who exactly is going to sort all this out, ready for another week of ..... hell?"
"What do you ...."
"The place is a tip, John. An absolute shit-hole. I don't even want to think about the state that you've left the bathroom in upstairs. I can't even escape for five minutes to have a relaxing bath. Why don't you get yourself to B and Q for some tiles if you've got so much time on your hands, eh?"
"I told you. I'm waiting for them to come back into stock."
"And there's no food in. Going to the supermarket is a two hour job these days AT THE VERY LEAST! So I'm sorry if I don't have the strength or the time to bake you a quiche Lorraine, fill the flask and get on my fucking bike, John!"
"Yep. It's official," said Cleo's smart mouth from somewhere out in the hallway. "Things are pretty much back to the way they used to be in this house!"
- Marcus and Molly's primary school had given them sessions from 9am to 12.30 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
- Cleo had some sixth form taster sessions on Tuesday from 1pm to 3pm and on Friday from 10am to 1pm.
- John had taken himself completely out of the equation, stating that he couldn't possibly take any time away from the hotel project.😤
It would be challenging!!!😨
Over the course of the last three months I had forgotten just how horrendous mornings in our house could be. Four of us needed to get out of the house at roughly the same time, fed and looking reasonably presentable. We had to be even more organised than ever now, ensuring that we were all in possession of a mask, a hand sanitiser and a packet of Wet Wipes. The insane levels of fussing and yelling on Monday morning, woke Princess Cleo, which meant that there was an argument before any of us even left the house. We were sent on our way with, "Inconsiderate arseholes!" ringing in our ears. The grumpy one had been instructed to pick the twins up from the school gates at 12.30 so that I was able to put a decent amount of hours in at the office. The adverts for our new products were going live on Wednesday and there was still much to be done. Big week for us all!
It whizzed by like some tornado of panic, din and general bedlam. There were fights, tears, misplaced shoes and surgical masks in the mix. And don't even get me started on what was going on amongst the kids!
Friday night found me in a crumpled mess, guzzling crisps and wine on the sofa like they were going out of fashion.
WhatsApp Group:
Me: Still up girls????
Vyshali:👍
Karen: It's only 9 o'clock babe x
Me: Really?? Thought it was about 11! SO HAPPY it's Friday!!!! I feel wrung out girls! X
Karen: Aw. So how did all the kids get on at school this week?
Me: The twins said that the teachers were all being weird x
Vyshali: My kids said the same😂😂
Karen: Fair play. Can't argue with that. I know I was!
Me: Mr Braithwaite was wearing rubber gloves apparently.
Sarah: Kinky!!!
Vyshali:😂
Me: Have you seen Mr Braithwaite?? Shame he didn't wear a gimp mask to match!
Vyshali: Omg!😂😂😂
Me: And within an hour of going back in Cleo suddenly wants to change her A level options. She thinks she might be an optician of all bloody things!!! How did did school go for you Kaz? X
Karen: Weirdest week of my life. Just 8 kids at a time in the room. One way systems. Toilet attendants. Wipe down whiteboards and markers instead of paper and pens. Pupils who were falling asleep cos they hadn't seen the right side of midday for months. And damn near frost bite cos every door and window had to be kept open!!
Sarah: Don't exaggerate Karen. It's July!
Vyshali:😂
Sarah: Trust me. My classroom's like a wind tunnel. The kids' lips were blue by 10 am. I've got a stiff neck tonight. I'm even contemplating asking Dave to give it a rub!!
Me: Fuck! Must be bad!
Vyshali:😱
Sarah: Saw your adverts on Instagram Daisy. So funny! x
Me: I'm happy with them. Mainly because I know that Olivia secretly hates them!! Not sophisticated and high-end enough for her.
Karen: Had YOU stamped right across them!!😂
Sarah: The company bit o rough!!X😜
Me: Oi !!!
Karen: Well done! Love them! Good job! X
Karen: Think I'm gonna have to get a rub down from Dave now. Wish me luck!!X
Vyshali:😱
Me: Hope he doesn't get any ideas x😂
Karen:🤮🤮
Seems like John had big ideas for Saturday. He casually shared them with me as I was clearing away the breakfast dishes. They involved getting the bikes out and ME making a picnic for the five of us.
"No bloody way!"
He looked slightly taken aback. "Why the attitude? I thought it'd be nice for us to get out as a family to celebrate the end of such a great week."
"Attitude? Great week?"
"Yeah. It's been alright, hasn't it? Being back out in the world. To think you were stressing about what we'd have to juggle this week."
I could barely see straight by this point. The mist was coming down fast. I struggled to find the words. "We? We'd have to juggle?"
"You don't have to repeat everything I say, you know Dais."
"Have you ANY idea what sort of a week I've had, John? Have you any idea of what it's been like trying to remember who's in school on what day? Get them there? Pick them up? Make sure that every set of clothes goes on a fucking boil wash every night? Feed everyone? And that's without WORK! Without getting the products ready to launch for Victoria. Without having to micro manage two halfwits in the office. And look around you, John." I became aware that I was waving my arms around flamboyantly. "Who exactly is going to sort all this out, ready for another week of ..... hell?"
"What do you ...."
"The place is a tip, John. An absolute shit-hole. I don't even want to think about the state that you've left the bathroom in upstairs. I can't even escape for five minutes to have a relaxing bath. Why don't you get yourself to B and Q for some tiles if you've got so much time on your hands, eh?"
"I told you. I'm waiting for them to come back into stock."
"And there's no food in. Going to the supermarket is a two hour job these days AT THE VERY LEAST! So I'm sorry if I don't have the strength or the time to bake you a quiche Lorraine, fill the flask and get on my fucking bike, John!"
"Yep. It's official," said Cleo's smart mouth from somewhere out in the hallway. "Things are pretty much back to the way they used to be in this house!"
Comments
Post a Comment