"Stop stressing. You're gonna ruin our day out."
"I told you, it's not a day trip, Daisy. It's the exercise session we're entitled to. We'll just have a walk, let the kids let off a bit of steam, then get home. We're not supposed to hang around outside. We'll be arrested."
"Arrested! Pah! Mind you, you'd know about that, I suppose."
"What's that, Mum?" Cleo's ears had pricked up.
"Nothing. Just my little joke. Where are we going anyway?"
"You'll see. I have the perfect spot where no one will bother us. Just hurry up, kids! It's nearly 9 o'clock. If I had my way, we'd have been out of here by 8."
"What are all these people doing out?" John moaned, as we drove along.
"Give it a rest, John. You're gonna spoil the day."
"Well, there shouldn't be so many people on the roads and like I keep telling you, we're not having a day trip, Daisy. We're just …."
"God, John. You suck the joy out of everything. You're like …… like a dementor."
"Where are we going, anyway Dad?" Molly chirped up, from the back of the car.
"Just somewhere I used to go when I was a little boy. A quiet place."
"Ugh," Cleo said.
"Are there swings?" Marcus asked.
"No," said John.
"A slide?"
"Nope."
"None of those things are open right now, love," I said.
"Well, what are we gonna do, then?"
"Just walk," I said. "We could all do with some fresh air."
"Ugh."
We pulled into a small layby, empty but for an old estate car. "We should be safe here," John informed us.
The kids didn't look impressed and emitted a selection of grunts and sighs to make us aware of the fact. "Come on! If we follow the track just over here," said John, "we'll get to a river. I used to love playing poo sticks in it when I was a kid. I used to stand on the bridge down there and ….."
"Sounds disgusting," Cleo said and inserted her earbuds.
The twins ran ahead.
"We should be safe here," John repeated, like he'd just helped us to find refuge from a band of lethal predators. "There's only one other car. Probably someone walking their dog along the main path."
The twins led us through the trees, no doubt following the sound of rushing water, which was increasing in volume. The air was already warm and smelled of wild flowers. "This is nice, isn't it?" I said, grabbing John's arm, causing Cleo to tut loudly.
"We found it!" Molly called, running back to us. "We found the river. Show us how to play poo sticks, Dad!"
"Ok. Onto the bridge!" John called back, thrilled that his choice of location had proved popular with two of the kids at least.
It was quite a long, narrow bridge, made of brick. It stood about ten feet above the river. We were around a third of the way across, when we heard laughter. A family of five emerged from the trees on the opposite side of the bridge. Laughing and shouting to each other, they seemed oblivious to our presence. They stepped onto the bridge. John froze. I braced myself to be ordered to 'Get back! For Christ's sake, get back!' to the river bank.
"Nobody move any further," he suddenly said. I could tell that he was struggling to stay calm. He had come over all breathless. "When they spot us, they'll go back, I'm sure." Then he found the breath to mutter, "Let's face it, they can't exactly miss your mother with that hair."
The other family advanced, seeming to notice us now, yet striding towards us nevertheless and carrying on their very loud and hilarious conversation. "What shall we do? Go back? The bridge isn't wide enough for social distancing," I said.
But John stood firm.
"It's our right of way Daisy. WE were nearly halfway across before they set foot on the bridge. THEY should go back and wait for us to pass."
"But it doesn't look like ….."
"Don't move, Daisy!"
"But ….."
"We're not gonna be the ones to back down. They'll turn back any second."
Closer still they came, close enough for us to notice that each member of the family was quite large in build - Mum, Dad and three hulking teenagers. They filled the bridge with their bodies and voices.
"Come on John, let's just ….." I began. But it was too late. They were upon us. Turning now would be futile and we all knew it. We'd missed our window of opportunity.
"Get right up against the wall and try not to breathe!" John yelled, clearly alarming the woman (her eyes widened and her face arranged itself into an expression of general confusion) though not to the degree where she slowed her pace or adjusted her position. On they strode.
Their little bodies flat against the wall, Marcus and Molly took a big gulp of air and screwed up their faces, Molly squeezing her eyes shut. Cleo covered her nose with her hand. It was tight. One by one they swaggered past us, still laughing and shouting to each other, with only an inch or two between them and us. Finally, I saw the man, who was coming up the rear, make actual contact with John as he passed by. Their shoulders definitely brushed against each other, before he smiled and said, "Morning!" to us, without a care in the world, as he went on his merry way.
And although John's mouth was sealed tight and his cheeks puffed out, he actually managed to return the greeting with small smile and a nod. Ffs! I hoped that my look of disbelief said it all.
It was several seconds before any of the kids dared to let out a breath. John cleared his throat. "Let that be a lesson to you. Some people have no regard for anyone else ….. but we stood firm, guys. Well done! We showed them, didn't we? Now have you got an antibac wipe in your bag, Daisy?"
"A hypocrite. That's what you are!" I told John as we walked back to the car. I couldn't guarantee that the look of disbelief would suffice after all. Best to back it up with something verbal.
"You said already," said John.
"The lectures I've had from you about things that I have supposedly done to put us all at risk, then you make us all stand in the middle of a bridge to be breathed on and ….. rubbed against by strangers, just as a matter of some weird principle. I've seen it all now!"
"Can we go home now please?" asked Marcus. "It's better in the garden with the trampoline and the paddling pool."
"I'm starving," Molly added.
"Yeah and I've used too much data this morning," Cleo complained. "Let's get back to the Wifi."
Thirty one days of Lockdown and it had already happened: the kids had become incapable of being away from the house for any longer than an hour. I had to admit, that suited me. Awaiting, was a sofa with an indent the exact size and shape of my arse.😊
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