Day 56 - Now Look What You've Gone And Done

I honestly thought that someone else had got hold of Olivia's phone, when she picked up. She was unrecognisable. Of course, I'd never seen her without full slap before, but it wasn't just that. Her complexion was pallid and from what I could see of her, she looked thinner than usual. When she spoke, there was nothing of the usual steel in her eyes.
     "Hi Daisy," she said. Her voice was flat, devoid of energy or enthusiasm.
     "Olivia? I was worried.  We haven't heard from you in a while."
     "Yeah, well ….. I needed to take some time, you know?"
     "Look …. if this is about the project, Olivia ….."
     "What project?"
     "The one that Victoria asked me to lead. I'm sorry. I was hoping we could work as a team and forget what happened."
     "What are you talking about, Daisy?"
     "I thought ….."
     Olivia sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms.
     "Olivia? Are you ok, Olivia?"
     " I …… no ….. not really. It's all a bit much to be honest with you, Daisy. I think I just need some time to ….. " It became obvious that she was on the verge of tears.
     "Oh my God, Olivia! What I said …… I was out of order. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you."
     "No. You were right, Daisy. What you said made me realise that I was fooling myself. I needed to face up to things. It's serious out there. Awful. It was easier to go into denial than think about my mother isolating all alone over a hundred miles away, or …. or the fact that I was all alone in my flat ….. or the fact that my brother is working as a doctor in a busy hospital." Her eyes were brimming over now and she fanned at them with her hands.
     Dear God, Daisy! Look what you've done this time. You have BROKEN this woman's spirit. Happy now?
     "I'm so sorry, Olivia. I  feel awful. I had no idea."
     "So Daisy ……. you'll be relieved to know that the penny has actually dropped. In fact, I've hardly got out of bed all week. You were right. There's no point to anything."
     "No  ….. no, I didn't mean ……"
     "Listen, I have to go now.  This is all …… making me feel so tired, Daisy." She collapsed onto an unmade bed behind her. "Bye, Daisy."
     "Ok, but I'm calling you again tomorrow, Olivia. And once again, I'm so …… sorry." But she'd gone.
 
No sooner had I put my phone down than John came striding into the kitchen. "Marcus said that Sam's got a new bike!"
     "Not now, John."
     "What do you mean? We've paid for that bike. It's already like a bloody branch of Halfords over at their house."
     "I said, not now. Please."
     "What's up? What's happened?"
     "Just work stuff.  I'll talk to Rosie this week. Promise."
     He retreated without further argument, obviously deciding that as I was in a 'funny mood', it would just have to keep.
     I needed some head-space to think. One thing was for sure: this was down to me.  I had done this and it was my responsibility to sort it out.😟