I should remember in future to set up video calls with my family in the evening, so that I have plenty of time to get drunk beforehand. It really was the only way to go. Between my parents once again joining us from the hot tub, my sister's feral kids interrupting any attempts at conversation by screaming out random toilet-related words and Rosie's constant digs about not seeing us for ages, the last fragment of sanity that I possessed was dangling by a thread.
The last straw came when Tom showed off his new bike. Thank God John was out of the room at the time. "Listen, I've got to go!" I said. The last thing I needed was for the kids to get into a big conversation about bikes and for John to overhear anything about my sister's latest little spending spree (courtesy of us).
"But we've got another 10 minutes scheduled," Rosie said.
"Yeah. Sorry. There's been a …… an incident. Speak soon. Bye. Say bye, kids. Wave to your cousins, Marcus. Bye!"
"I was just about to ask someone to KILL me! They're totally mental!" shouted Cleo, slumping into the armchair.
"We can still hear you!" Rosie called out from the black screen.
"Oops. Bye! Where's the button? How do I ….." I muttered, grappling with the laptop.
I knew that the Zoom session would prompt John to ask me about the money that Rosie owed, so I promised myself that I'd text her later. New bike indeed !
"It's Sunday. Let's go for a walk or something," I tentatively suggested.
"I thought you weren't ever going to venture out again," John reminded me.
"I meant the garden. I can discreetly slip into the car in the driveway. Travelling to exercise is allowed now, you know. As long as we stay alert."
"Very funny! Like you were in the park the other day?"
"No. Like you were at your mother's house the other day. I'll just pounce on anyone who looks suspicious, virus or not."
"Shall we drop it now?"
"Ooh ..... where could we travel to? How about the beach?"
"Everyone'll be on the beach today," John said.
"Yay! We're going to the beach!"
Oops! Molly overheard.
"Really?" squealed Marcus. "Yeah!"
John gave me a Great! Now we'll have to go, look.
"I'll go and get ready then," I said.
He was right. There were a hell of a lot of people at the beach, so our walk was brief. Many people ambled along with their eyes fixed on the screens of their phones which was not only hazardous to everyone else (as John kept reminding us) but surely defeated the object of the exercise of going out anywhere with a lovely view. Then, I looked behind and saw Cleo doing the same thing. With so many out, we couldn't allow the twins to run around as they usually would and they quickly tired of walking in single file, in a straight line.
Still, the sea air blew away a few cobwebs and ensured that we were all ready to hit the hay by eleven. I checked my phone before climbing into bed and could see that Olivia had finally responded to one of my messages.
Text from Olivia:
Hi. Ok. Face time me tomorrow then
Short. Sharp. No emojis. No kisses. So unlike Olivia. She must be pissed off with me!😬
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