Day 63 - Alfresco

I have no idea why people (two of my kids and their father) love barbeques. In my opinion, they are crap. Reasons being:

•  Even though it's probably the only meal that they'll cook all week, men (John) get inordinately stressed out about waiting until the optimal temperature of the bloody thing is reached, and get near to hysterical at the moment that the food can actually go on.
•  Perfectly good quality food comes off the thing black and horribly tough. Failing that,  raw in the middle and guaranteed to give you salmonella.
•  At least fifteen flying creatures arrive every time someone takes the lid off the ketchup bottle.
•  Children (Marcus) always manage to allow every item to slide off their plates onto the grass, which inevitably leads to tears and tantrums.
•  By the time a responsible adult (me) has sorted out the hoo-ha, their own food is stone cold.
•  The dishes and general mess, are not only strewn over the kitchen, but throughout the garden too.
•  Because he's done enough with all that gruelling cooking (incinerating) bloody Jamie Oliver (John) doesn't feel the need to join in with the clear-up and invariably spends the remainder of the evening, lolling about on a deckchair, drinking beer and getting more childish by the second, winding up his children and pet so that a responsible adult (me) doesn't have a hope in hell of settling them at bedtime. All the time, Jamie Oliver is reminding everyone what an amazing meal they'd had, shamelessly fishing for compliments.

I left him to it and found Cleo inside, looking all wistful, phone in hand. "You ok?" I asked.

     "Yep."

     "Really? You don't look it. You would tell me, if you were …. you know ….. struggling?" I asked, remembering an item on teenagers' mental health that I'd seen on 'Loose Women' a few days ago.

     "Actually, if you must know, it's Callum. He wants to get back with me."

     "Oh. He does know that you still live with the same mental family, doesn't he?"

     "Yeah.  I've had time to think about that," she said. 

     "And?"

     "Remember Blane McTaggarty?"

     "The kid you went to primary school with? Father's a juggler, mother paints murals out of recycled condiments? New Age kind of people?"

     "That's him. Well, he and I have been talking recently and he told Paris and Tabitha that he's really interested in me."

      "He sounds like a better match for you. His family are way crazier than us. Stuff Callum!"

     She went back to her phone as mine pinged. It was Olivia reminding me of our video conference tomorrow morning, as I hadn't got back to the email that she'd sent me earlier. I must have missed my emails, what with not having opened them as it was an actual BANK HOLIDAY! Anyway, I thought Victoria had put me in charge.😤 Suppose I only had myself to blame! If I hadn't interfered in Olivia's malaise …..